Detoxing – through hell and out the other side


Whose idea is it to detox? I’d like to know because right now I have a few choice words for that person.  Obviously, I have taken the responsibility to put myself through this hell, so the choice words should be for me, after all I wouldn’t jump off a cliff blah blah…

So, you may have gathered I am undergoing a bit of a detox.  It’s all in a good cause.  Body confidence.  This may seem a contradiction.  After all isn’t body confidence about loving and embracing the body you are in?  Well, yes and no.  For me it is about being happy in my body, and right now, I’m not!  And not because I am overweight (I am overweight but that’s beside the point – I always will be overweight according to the current era’s definition of ideal weight/BMI etc.) No, I’m not happy in my body because my body is not happy with me! I ache, all the time.  I am bloated and feel like a whale.  My face and hands are puffy (not enough water consumption I know!), and I’m tired ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Now some of these symptoms are part of the EDS (Ehler Danlos Syndrome) but I know that they would be drastically improved were I to improve how I eat and move around!  This is especially true of reducing sugar in my diet and pre-Christmas I was clean eating and only had natural sugar (i.e. fruit) in my diet, because sugar is an inflammatory, so it makes joints more painful and contributes to lovely conditions like candida!

So, I’m detoxing.  Mainly from sugar.  And it sucks! (I tried finding a non-Americanism but this fits the bill).  I’m only on day two and already I feel as though I am going to throw up any moment, my head feels like it has a drill permanently at it, I think I have flu (I haven’t), I have slept nearly all day and my mouth feels as though something odious slept in it, despite brushing my teeth several times.

So, I did what all clever people do, I googled detoxing.  Turns out these are all detox symptoms; the advice is to slowly come off sugar and not to go cold turkey.  The thing is, my main adversary in the world of sugar is Coca Cola.  I love it.  I know I shouldn’t.  I know all the stories about pennies etc, but I love it and over Christmas and New Year I thought fuck it.  I don’t drink alcohol, which has loads of sugar in it (apart from on New Year’s Eve – but that wasn’t my fault!), so I’ll drink my fave drinkypoos instead.  And now I’m suffering the long hangover.  The thing is you can’t slowly detox from coke.  I was probably drinking a max of three cans (that’s not so bad, is it?), then I did go down to one can and now none – that’s about as slow as you can go.

And I feel like shit.

Hopefully I won’t feel like shit tomorrow because I’m going stargazing. Tonight, I have to drag my sorry arse out of the blanket and go and see Rogue One, because I haven’t yet and that’s pretty awful for a self-confessed Star Wars fan! The test there will be avoiding a jumbo cup of sugary goodness… yes the cravings have kicked in!

So, for all of you on the detox bandwagon with me, if you are feeling any of the following things, it’s normal and will pass:

  1. Headache (pounding like a mo-fo)
  2. Nausea (bleurgh)
  3. Anxiety (will this ever end?)
  4. Tiredness/fatigue (sigh)
  5. Flu-like symptoms (shaking, hot and cold, sore throat)
  6. Irritability (FFS!)
  7. Desire to sleep all day (see above)
  8. Cravings (well duh!)

Here are a few natural remedies that may help:

  1. Apple Cider Vinegar – one tablespoon followed by a glass of water, this will help rebalance your gut and reduce nausea symptoms
  2. Lemon in water – as above
  3. LOTS OF WATER, just because you need it, at least three litres
  4. For a sugar detox have some sugar but keep it natural, like a piece of fruit or some coconut water
  5. If you can, sleep – it really does help your body heal, that’s why I plan any detoxes on a day off

I’d love to tell you to enjoy the experience, but it’s horrible, you will feel better for it afterwards though, I promise.  (I am repeating that mantra over and over right now, believe me!)

#detox, #detoxsymptoms, #healthandwellness, #newyear, #bodyconfidence

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